When I woke up the next morning I felt shaky and sick. I got up and went to the bathroom to take a cold shower. I climbed in, and sat down in the tub facing the showerhead. I let the water run over my face and cried. I had my arms around my knees, and rested my head on them. I felt horrible about upsetting Brody and Chris. Even Lukas, even though he was mad at me before for a completey dumb reason. I thought about Rob though, and felt like he was the only one that had actualy understood me, and how I felt. I felt bad for making him give me the drugs. I knew he hadn't wanted too. The more I thought about, the harder I cried. I hated upsetting people, and now I felt like everyone was pissed off at me. All I wanted to do was go see Rob again, which struck me as funny. I probably knew him the least out of everyone, but I felt more at ease around him. There was a knock at the door. "BLAIR?" I heard Chris shout. "Yeah?" I asked, trying not to sound like I was crying. My voice came out shaky anyway. "Are you okay? You've been in there for a while." He said. "GO AWAY!" I shouted. I never thought I would have told Chris to go away. "Blair, We need to talk about this. I of all people should know what your going through right now." He said, opening the door. Our shower curtain was kind of see through when you were inside the shower looking out. I could make out his figure. "Then you know I want to be alone." I said. "You just think you do. And I know you want to go see Rob, but thats only because you are associating him with drugs right now." He said. "You're wrong!" I shouted, and started sobbing again. The curtain flew open. He turned off the water, and then helped me stand up. He tried to dry me off, but he couldn't becuase of his hand. "I can do it! You'll get your bandages wet." I said, and took the towel from him. I wrapped it around myself and then followed him to his room. He threw a shirt at me, and I put it on, then climbed into his bed. He sat down on his side, facing me. "Blair, this isn't going to make things better. It only gets worse if you go down this road." He said. "Not if you know what your doing, and you are careful! I wanted to have fun, and see what it was like. I wanted to forget about things for a while." I told him. "And did you?" He asked. "Yes." I told him. "For how long? Until you came down? Until you woke up this morning shaky and sick?" He asked. I didn't say anything. "And let me guess, your first thought was how to get more, right? You probably feel okay because the drugs are still in your system, but soon you'll feel worse off then you did and you'll want more." He said. I didn't say anything. Mainly because he was completly right. "Blair, I know this because I did this. Only I went a lot further down this road. Don't start to mess around with this shit. It's only going to fuck you up." He said. "Blair, are you listening to me?" "Yes." I said, staring over his shoulder at a nail hole in the wall. "Promise you wont do this again." He said. "No. I can't." I told him. "Promise me you'll at least think about it." He said. "Fine. I promise." I said. "You are lying to me." He said. I got mad at him. "NO I'M NOT!" I yelled, looking at him for the first time that morning. He looked so upset. "Fine. Consider the subject dropped for now." He said. "Fine." I told him. "Can you help with my bandages please?" He asked. I nodded and helped him out. The stiches in his cut hand were already starting to disolve, so soon he wouldn't need help anymore. "Sarah is picking me up in a little while. I'm to hang out with her today, so you can be alone. I don't want to leave you alone, but you probably need time to think." He said. "Thank you." I told him. Honestly though I just wanted him to go so I could see Rob. Or at least talk to him. I wondered if maybe Chris should stay home with me. He layed down next to me on top of the covers and hugged me. We just layed there for a long time, both lost in thought. Then the doorbell ring. "Bye." He said, hugged me, then left. I waited to hear the door shut, then I jumped out of bed to call Rob. It rang a few times, and I started to get nervous. I really wanted him to pick up. He finaly did. "Hello?" "It's Blair." I said. "Blair! Are you okay?" He asked. "Yeah." I said. "I was worried about you. I had intended on spending more time with you in case you had a bad trip or something. "I'm okay. I think everyone is mad at me." I said. "No, they are mad at me. They are just worried about you." He said. "Why? It's no big deal." I told him. "I could easly become one though." He said. "Can I see you?" I asked him. "Yeah. But You can't tell Brody or Lukas. They kicked me out until I quit. I'm staying with my little brother and his retarded friend. You can come over here." He said. "Okay. I don't think I can drive though." I admitted. I still felt kind of sick. "I'll come get you. Is Chris there?" He asked. "No." I told him. "Good." He said. "Why?" I asked. "Because this morning I had a voicemail from him saying he'd kill me if I came around you again." He said. "WHAT?" I shouted. I felt so angry. "He has a right to be angry. He grew up in my neighborhood. He got lucky and moved on. I guess I havn't." Rob said. "Just come pick me up. Okay?" I asked. "Okay." He said. We hung up, and I got ready. He got there about fourty-five minutes later, and then drove me to his brothers apartment. It was in a horrible neighborhood, and I was glad Rob was with me. He held my hand and walked me up to the fourth floor apartment. "They are gone for the day, and probably most of the night." Rob said, opening the door. He shut it behind me, and then walked me over to the couch and we both sat down. "I'm sorry Blair." He said. "For what?" I asked. "For getting you into this." He said. "No. I'm glad you did. You make me forget about everything." I told him. He smiled when I said that. Then he layed down on the couch, and pulled me down with him, putting his arm around me. I fell asleep like that a few minutes later.
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When I woke up the next morning I felt shaky and sick. I got up and went to the bathroom to take a cold shower. I climbed in, and sat down in the tub facing the showerhead. I let the water run over my face and cried. I had my arms around my knees, and rested my head on them. I felt horrible about upsetting Brody and Chris. Even Lukas, even though he was mad at me before for a completey dumb reason. I thought about Rob though, and felt like he was the only one that had actualy understood me, and how I felt. I felt bad for making him give me the drugs. I knew he hadn't wanted too. The more I thought about, the harder I cried. I hated upsetting people, and now I felt like everyone was pissed off at me. All I wanted to do was go see Rob again, which struck me as funny. I probably knew him the least out of everyone, but I felt more at ease around him. There was a knock at the door.
"BLAIR?" I heard Chris shout.
"Yeah?" I asked, trying not to sound like I was crying. My voice came out shaky anyway.
"Are you okay? You've been in there for a while." He said.
"GO AWAY!" I shouted. I never thought I would have told Chris to go away.
"Blair, We need to talk about this. I of all people should know what your going through right now." He said, opening the door. Our shower curtain was kind of see through when you were inside the shower looking out. I could make out his figure.
"Then you know I want to be alone." I said.
"You just think you do. And I know you want to go see Rob, but thats only because you are associating him with drugs right now." He said.
"You're wrong!" I shouted, and started sobbing again. The curtain flew open. He turned off the water, and then helped me stand up. He tried to dry me off, but he couldn't becuase of his hand.
"I can do it! You'll get your bandages wet." I said, and took the towel from him. I wrapped it around myself and then followed him to his room. He threw a shirt at me, and I put it on, then climbed into his bed. He sat down on his side, facing me.
"Blair, this isn't going to make things better. It only gets worse if you go down this road." He said.
"Not if you know what your doing, and you are careful! I wanted to have fun, and see what it was like. I wanted to forget about things for a while." I told him.
"And did you?" He asked.
"Yes." I told him.
"For how long? Until you came down? Until you woke up this morning shaky and sick?" He asked. I didn't say anything.
"And let me guess, your first thought was how to get more, right? You probably feel okay because the drugs are still in your system, but soon you'll feel worse off then you did and you'll want more." He said. I didn't say anything. Mainly because he was completly right.
"Blair, I know this because I did this. Only I went a lot further down this road. Don't start to mess around with this shit. It's only going to fuck you up." He said. "Blair, are you listening to me?"
"Yes." I said, staring over his shoulder at a nail hole in the wall.
"Promise you wont do this again." He said.
"No. I can't." I told him.
"Promise me you'll at least think about it." He said.
"Fine. I promise." I said.
"You are lying to me." He said. I got mad at him.
"NO I'M NOT!" I yelled, looking at him for the first time that morning. He looked so upset.
"Fine. Consider the subject dropped for now." He said.
"Fine." I told him.
"Can you help with my bandages please?" He asked. I nodded and helped him out. The stiches in his cut hand were already starting to disolve, so soon he wouldn't need help anymore.
"Sarah is picking me up in a little while. I'm to hang out with her today, so you can be alone. I don't want to leave you alone, but you probably need time to think." He said.
"Thank you." I told him. Honestly though I just wanted him to go so I could see Rob. Or at least talk to him. I wondered if maybe Chris should stay home with me. He layed down next to me on top of the covers and hugged me. We just layed there for a long time, both lost in thought. Then the doorbell ring.
"Bye." He said, hugged me, then left. I waited to hear the door shut, then I jumped out of bed to call Rob. It rang a few times, and I started to get nervous. I really wanted him to pick up. He finaly did.
"Hello?"
"It's Blair." I said.
"Blair! Are you okay?" He asked.
"Yeah." I said.
"I was worried about you. I had intended on spending more time with you in case you had a bad trip or something.
"I'm okay. I think everyone is mad at me." I said.
"No, they are mad at me. They are just worried about you." He said.
"Why? It's no big deal." I told him.
"I could easly become one though." He said.
"Can I see you?" I asked him.
"Yeah. But You can't tell Brody or Lukas. They kicked me out until I quit. I'm staying with my little brother and his retarded friend. You can come over here." He said.
"Okay. I don't think I can drive though." I admitted. I still felt kind of sick.
"I'll come get you. Is Chris there?" He asked.
"No." I told him.
"Good." He said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because this morning I had a voicemail from him saying he'd kill me if I came around you again." He said.
"WHAT?" I shouted. I felt so angry.
"He has a right to be angry. He grew up in my neighborhood. He got lucky and moved on. I guess I havn't." Rob said.
"Just come pick me up. Okay?" I asked.
"Okay." He said. We hung up, and I got ready. He got there about fourty-five minutes later, and then drove me to his brothers apartment. It was in a horrible neighborhood, and I was glad Rob was with me. He held my hand and walked me up to the fourth floor apartment.
"They are gone for the day, and probably most of the night." Rob said, opening the door. He shut it behind me, and then walked me over to the couch and we both sat down.
"I'm sorry Blair." He said.
"For what?" I asked.
"For getting you into this." He said.
"No. I'm glad you did. You make me forget about everything." I told him. He smiled when I said that. Then he layed down on the couch, and pulled me down with him, putting his arm around me. I fell asleep like that a few minutes later.
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