The rest of that day and night was aweful. The whole day at work no one was talking to me. I was pretty sure either Lukas or Brody had passed on what had happend with me and Rob. It made me mad, but I didn't say anything about it. Brody and Lukas wouldn't even stay in the same area as me. To top it off the whole day all I could think about was what was in my bathroom drawer at home. Finaly it was time to go home. When I got there, I wanted to take the rest of the drugs so bad, but I didn't want to upset Chris. Everytime I had to use the bathroom, Chris would knock on the door and ask me what I was doing! I was starting to get irritated, even though I knew he was trying to help. "WHAT?" I shouted, through the bathroom door. "Are you okay?" He asked. "YES! FUCK!" I shouted. I washed my hands, and flung the door open, holding the baggie...still containing the drugs. "They are STILL fucking here!" I shouted, and threw them in the drawer. "I'm sorry Blair! I just know how hard it is to stop." He said. "I'm going to work out." I told him. "Why?" He asked. "Because it will keep my mind off it. And I've got all this energy...I mean I feel tired, but I can't sit down. I don't want to, I just want to do something. I feel shaky and irritated, and-AHHHHH!" I said in complete frustration. "It's because it's wearing off, and you want more." He said. I ignored him and went back to my room to change into my sweats. I walked back out to the living room and put on my Hip-Hop Abs video. "God, I hate this one!" Chris said, and stood up. "Then go watch TV in your room." I told him. "That's where I'm going." He said, and walked down the hall. I watched him pause at the bathroom door. He was looking at the drawer. "What?" I asked him, walking down the hall. "It's been a few years since I've done anything, but the urge never quite goes away." He said, and then continued walking to his room. I almost reached in the drawer and grabbed the bag, but I held myself back and walked out to the living room instead. I worked out to the 45 minute tape 4 times, before I was so exhausted I couldn't move. I drank a ton of water, and then jumped in the shower. When I got out, I still wanted the last of the Coke, but not as bad. I was feeling a little better. When I got out of the shower I stepped on the scale because I hadn't weighed myself in a few days. "Holy shit." I said. I had lost 6lbs in the few days since I had last weighted myself. I laughed, and then went to my room to get dressed. I looked at the clock and it was 8:00pm. I sighed, knowing it was going to be a while before I could get to bed. I walked into Chris' room to see what he was up to. He was trying to fold laundry, but with his arms both bandaged up, he had a hell of a time. "Let me do that, silly." I said, and sat down next to him on the bed. I took the pair of boxers he was holding and folded them up. He just laughed. "I'll be glad when these are gone." He said. I smiled, and continued to help him put his laundry away. "So, you have to work again tomorrow?." He asked. "Yeah." I sighed. "It will help keep your mind of everything." He said. "I hope so. It sure didn't today." I told him. "It will. Now lets watch a cheesy horror movie and eat some nachos." He said. I laughed, and hugged him. "I'll make the food, you pick out a movie." I said, and walked out to the kitchen.
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The rest of that day and night was aweful. The whole day at work no one was talking to me. I was pretty sure either Lukas or Brody had passed on what had happend with me and Rob. It made me mad, but I didn't say anything about it. Brody and Lukas wouldn't even stay in the same area as me. To top it off the whole day all I could think about was what was in my bathroom drawer at home. Finaly it was time to go home. When I got there, I wanted to take the rest of the drugs so bad, but I didn't want to upset Chris. Everytime I had to use the bathroom, Chris would knock on the door and ask me what I was doing! I was starting to get irritated, even though I knew he was trying to help.
"WHAT?" I shouted, through the bathroom door.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"YES! FUCK!" I shouted. I washed my hands, and flung the door open, holding the baggie...still containing the drugs.
"They are STILL fucking here!" I shouted, and threw them in the drawer.
"I'm sorry Blair! I just know how hard it is to stop." He said.
"I'm going to work out." I told him.
"Why?" He asked.
"Because it will keep my mind off it. And I've got all this energy...I mean I feel tired, but I can't sit down. I don't want to, I just want to do something. I feel shaky and irritated, and-AHHHHH!" I said in complete frustration.
"It's because it's wearing off, and you want more." He said. I ignored him and went back to my room to change into my sweats. I walked back out to the living room and put on my Hip-Hop Abs video.
"God, I hate this one!" Chris said, and stood up.
"Then go watch TV in your room." I told him.
"That's where I'm going." He said, and walked down the hall. I watched him pause at the bathroom door. He was looking at the drawer.
"What?" I asked him, walking down the hall.
"It's been a few years since I've done anything, but the urge never quite goes away." He said, and then continued walking to his room. I almost reached in the drawer and grabbed the bag, but I held myself back and walked out to the living room instead.
I worked out to the 45 minute tape 4 times, before I was so exhausted I couldn't move. I drank a ton of water, and then jumped in the shower. When I got out, I still wanted the last of the Coke, but not as bad. I was feeling a little better. When I got out of the shower I stepped on the scale because I hadn't weighed myself in a few days.
"Holy shit." I said. I had lost 6lbs in the few days since I had last weighted myself. I laughed, and then went to my room to get dressed. I looked at the clock and it was 8:00pm. I sighed, knowing it was going to be a while before I could get to bed. I walked into Chris' room to see what he was up to. He was trying to fold laundry, but with his arms both bandaged up, he had a hell of a time.
"Let me do that, silly." I said, and sat down next to him on the bed. I took the pair of boxers he was holding and folded them up. He just laughed.
"I'll be glad when these are gone." He said. I smiled, and continued to help him put his laundry away.
"So, you have to work again tomorrow?." He asked.
"Yeah." I sighed.
"It will help keep your mind of everything." He said.
"I hope so. It sure didn't today." I told him.
"It will. Now lets watch a cheesy horror movie and eat some nachos." He said. I laughed, and hugged him.
"I'll make the food, you pick out a movie." I said, and walked out to the kitchen.
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